Tuesday, 28 April 2009 18:50
Arc
Different TypesA Canadian, a Russian and an American all wanted to show off to each other so they each bought a new toilet. The Russian bought a wooden toilet, the Canadian bought a marble toilet, and the American bought a musical toilet.
The next day, the Canadian came back to complain and said, "I want a refund. Every time I use the toilet, I slip off of it."
The day after that, the Russian came to complain and said, "I want a refund. Every time I sit on the toilet I get splinters in my bottom."
The next day, the American came and said, "I want a refund. Every time I sit down, I hear my national anthem and I have to stand up."
Last Updated on Tuesday, 28 April 2009 18:54
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Sunday, 12 April 2009 09:40
Arca
Behaviorist Solution Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed.
It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different.
A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful.
"Doc!" Joe says, "It's amazing! I'm cured!"
"That's great news!" the psychoanalyst says. "You seem to be doing much better. How?"
"I went to see another doctor," Joe says enthusiastically, "and he cured me in just ONE session!"
"One?!" the psychoanalyst asks incredulously.
"Yeah," continues Joe, "my new doctor is a behaviorist."
"A behaviorist?" the psychoanalyst asks. "How did he cure you in one session?"
"Oh, easy," says Joe. "He told me to cut the legs off of my bed."
Sunday, 12 April 2009 09:31
Funnies
Four Men in a Car Four men rode in a car: a mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a computer engineer.
The car stalled out.
The mechanical engineer said, "It must be the pistons; let's repair them and be on our way."
The electrical engineer said, "It has to be the spark plugs; we'll replace them and be ready to roll in no time at all."
The chemical engineer said. "No, it's got to be bad gas; we'll flush the system and be on our way."
They turned to the computer engineer. "What do you think we should do?" they asked.
The computer engineer shrugged and said, "Let's get out of the car, close the doors, then get back in and try restarting it."
Last Updated on Sunday, 12 April 2009 09:32
Sunday, 12 April 2009 09:30
www
Climb the Ladder The other night I dreamed that I had died and gone to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates I was met by Saint Peter who told me if I wanted to enter the gates of Heaven I must climb that ladder one rung at a time. On each rung I must write a sin that I committed during my life while on earth.
He then gave me a piece of chalk. I started, writing, climbing, writing, climbing .... hanging on with one hand and writing with the other - a difficult task for someone who does not like heights.
All of a sudden, something was crushing the fingers of my holding hand. I looked up, and there, much to my amazement was my boss coming down the ladder for more chalk.
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Jokes
